Club Guy

So I was in the gym today reacquainting myself with the weights.  225 lbs 13 times on the bench press? Embarrassing!!! Someone will be in on the regular to regain his strength....and dignity......and manhood!!! Anyway, these 2 guys I knew struck up a conversation with me and they talked about going to a club tonight.  I started looking at these dudes and a thought came to me.  I wondered what type of club guys these dudes were? There are many different kinds of club guys out there.  Lemme name a few!
THE WALLFLOWER= This guy is one of 2 types of wallflowers. Either A). The wallflower who is scared of life and will not approach anyone for a conversation (see Nice Guy from prior blogs), or B). Guy who thinks he looks so good that women have no choice but to approach him.  He stands there with a drink in hand thinking to himself, "This shirt cost $100.00. It looks so good, I wouldn't be surprised if a dude tried to bag me tonight!!" He thinks a woman will come over to him and say, "OMG!! That shirt is not only awesome but looks expensive!! Will you do me a favor and take me home and make love to me, PLEASE!?!" Yep, That Guy!
ONE DRINK AWAY GUY: This guy is one drink away from either having the greatest night of his life or having to be beaten by security or tasered by cops.  This guy is trying to drink just enough to maintain the great buzz he has going on. But he ALWAYS orders that extra Long Island Ice Tea to send him over the edge. When he's buzzing, he's fun!! Women are attracted to him because they see him having a great time and want to join in on the fun!! But then he has that last drink and BOOM!! He turns in to......
LIKES TO FIGHT GUY: When you see a guy with a bloody nose and half his shirt out yelling at no one in particular, you're looking at likes to fight guy.  When he's drunk, he thinks he is the toughest guy in America and that he's one knockout of a bouncer away from becoming a contender in UFC!! If your boy walks over to you and says, "See the way that (insert derogatory term here) is looking at me," walk out the club because you are about to be arrested on the charge of having a douche bag in your crew who deserves to get his ass beat!!
OLD GUY AT THE CLUB: Our favorite!! The guy who is in his late 30's to early 50's who should be at home chillin!! Nope!! He saw the sign at the door that said,"Your youth is here!! Come inside to regain it!" Now, I will stop you clowns yelling that, "Well 30 is the new 20" nonsense right now! 30 is 30 is 30!! Go try drinking like you were 20 and tell me how that 30 year old body feels!! Alright then!! Old guy at the club is either single and doesn't have his stuff together yet, or single with a kid and is going out because "he can't stand his baby mama! ....gets on my last nerve!"  He has no problem approaching a female. Chances are he will use game he learned back in 1992 and just give it an update to get a number.  I remember going to the 56th Fighter Club in Long Island, NY like 10 years ago and saw this old guy with a cane and rocking a 3 piece pink pimp suit with a fedora!! He just stood there, then saw a woman he was interested in, stepped on the dance floor and did the most awkward 2-step I have ever seen!! Hilarious!!
There are many other club guys, like shiny shirt guy, the predator, perverted look guy. etc. I may talk about them in a future blog.  But if you go out tonight, you just might spot on of these guys (Or one of these guys could be you!!!) Hmmmm.........
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